Dear Blogbook!
So I finished my first test at school and I actually passed! I was so sure that I would have to redo it since Elias was so grumpy the whole week and would give me a breather to study. It resulted in long days and long nights with little sleep. But the important thing is that I passed! Now we’re working with a much simpler subject that I feel more secure with, thank God!
Elias passed the 6 weeks mark and he is getting bigger and bigger by day! He has now rolled over and laughed! It’s not gonna be long until he starts to crawl, and my mummy heart is bursting with love! He has his vaccination next week and I hope he will be okay; he’s usually pretty good with needles so I hope this won’t be any different. He loves to stand and to sit up, even though he can’t do neither one by himself.
He is still breastfeeding which I’m hoping to be able to do until he starts to eat solid food, but the milk production is getting a bit slower so I don’t know if I will be able to only breastfeed him until then or if we will need to mix with formula a couple of times a day. The pressure on breastfeeding is really high, as long as baby is happy and healthy, who cares if it’s breast milk or formula. I hate the fact that they make women feel so bad about not breastfeeding for some reason. Everyone knows that breast milk is the best for the baby, but it’s the mothers choice if she wants to breastfeed. Some women can’t even do it and it sucks that they have to feel like less of a mum because of it. Keep your baby full, that’s the most important thing!
I still haven’t had the chance to work yet, they just happen to need me on the only days that I can’t work because of school or that I need to take care of Elias. But I’m excited to start and hopefully I will get the chance soon.
We got invited to join the family group that starts tomorrow and I’m excited to get to meet other mommies with children around the same age as Elias and hopefully being able to do stuff together. I love my friends, but sometimes I feel like an annoying person not being able to talk about anything else that mum stuff. That’s why it would be fun to get to have those discussions with people in the same situation. I do have one friend with a baby girl that’s just 6 days older that Elias, but she lives on the other side of the country, and another one with a baby boy that’s born exactly 6h before Elias on the same date, which is crazy since it was not planned at all. And the more crazy thing about this is that my sister and her sister in law are besties and born the same year, and I’m friends with her other sister in law that’s born the same year as myself.
The trip to Lebanon is booked and we’re traveling in January, me, my mum & dad and Elias. It will be his first trip and I’m looking forward to letting my family there see him, especially my twinnie! Hopefully the weather will be kind to us during that time. Since its winter, it’s a gamble really, it can turn out to be sunny every day or rainy every day. We just have to pray and see. Can’t wait to see everyone though! I haven’t been to Lebanon in over a year now and I miss my family there a lot! It will be weird visiting Lebanon without my teta being there though. It’s so sad that she just missed her great grandson. She would always say that she wanted us to get a baby, and when I get pregnant, she lost the energy to fight. I think it was enough for her to know that a baby was on the way, and that she got to see me pregnant. But she was so sick and had been fighting for years; it was time for her to get some rest away from all the pain and suffering. It just so sad for us that are left behind, because for us the pain doesn’t go away, it’s always a part of your life. She will always be missed and I will tell Elias everything about her, how kind, sweet, funny and clever she was, it’s just a shame that he won’t experience it himself. Both my grannies where super women, the best people on this earth. I really consider myself so lucky to have had the chance to get to spend such a big part of my life with them in it.
Life is short people! Show your loved ones how much you care!
Take care of each other and be KIND!
Puss xx
